Eating is a sensual delight, almost a cause for celebration.
Some refer to eating as a reason to be alive: “Living to Eat” (rather than eating to live.)
"...as sensual beings in human form; it is our innate longing to be in a state of contentedness."
It’s no wonder as sensual beings in human form; it is our innate longing to be in a state of contentedness. Dwelling in these bodies, we also have a strong physical desire to seek pleasure. We were put on this planet to live our most full self. So, if there are any nuances of lack, often these come out in wanting to satiate the desire but putting food to the lips, and the pleasures that come forth around that moment.
But what if you’re experiencing a ravishing urgency to eat, and it’s perhaps not to satiate the needed sustenance to keep your physical body going… What if during your favorite movie you find yourself going for a little treat — perhaps some organic dark chocolate? A little Tahitian vanilla gelato? {And I’m not trying to tease you; please resist heading for the fridge.} After you eat your treat, you feel a sense of momentary gratification, but it fades quickly. Bits of guilt seep in, whether you are aware of it or not. It’s often an unconscious thing.
I want to bring awareness to our eating. Let’s start by defining the difference between eating to soothe unconscious emotions and physical hunger.
How to tell if you’re emotionally eating:
- Emotional hunger appears out-of-the-blue and comes on like an unexpected breeze. Physical hunger occurs gradually. Often you can hear your tummy talking to you, or other physical sensations.
- Hunger coming from a need or feeling place wants to be satisfied instantly. “Give it to me now.” Physical hunger can wait.
- Usually you have a very specific craving, like chocolate or chips, and just that food will meet your need. When you’re eating for physical hunger, there are a myriad of things you could eat. You feel much more options oriented.
- You’ll fill up, but want to keep eating. When you eat for physical hunger, you’ll likely stop when your body’s had enough.
- Emotional eating often leaves feelings of guilt. Boooo to that.
Any of this familiar?
When our tummies are not growling, we are feeding something else, other than our tummies.
When I learned of my dairy (casein) and egg allergy, after already being gluten-free, I also needed to cut sugars out completely to heal from Candida, I discovered that I wasn’t totally over my emotional eating. Even though I wasn’t eating excessive treats or standing at the counter eating chips in a rash, quick manner and not even quite noticing I was doing such a thing, I realized how connected I was to my food and even more so — attached to having certain things. My eggs topped with nutritional yeast and thinly sliced melted brie — mmmm… No more.
So what to do with the urge to eat from emotions?
Feed the Deeper Desire instead of Going for Food
1. Bring in Awareness
If we can start by recognizing we are doing our eating from an area of mindfulness, we’ve got most of the rest made. You can print out the list from above to help differentiate, if that helps. Keep it on you, and around your food supply. Refer to it before anything touches your lips.
This is no easy feat as we’ve created habitual behavior over the years. Over time, I’ve endearingly labeled the habit “neurotic eating”, with a quick passing chuckle, giving myself permission to indulge without stopping. No very endearing. I was not only telling my body I thought poorly of my act, but I was allowing myself, in a rebellious way, to gourd out simultaneously brushing it off. We have to find awareness of the more defiant parts of ourselves. Mine is the inner 14-year old teenager, expressing she couldn’t give a rat’s ass either way. “Excuse me while I eat. Back off.”
Once you’ve identified the differences between emotional eating and eating to sustain your body, you’ll be able to speak to the part of you that is ready to insert the tiramisu fingers.
2. Continue with Deeper Awareness and Ongoing Loving Maintenance
- Learn about what triggers you. Make a laundry list of your greatest food temptations. Draw swirly-dos around them if you want. Bring it with you so you can refer to what foods seduce you.
- Do something else. Stand up and do some booty shimmying. Spin around. Hug yourself. Go make love. Make art. Meditate and offer the craving up to Spirit. If being productive works for you, make a list in advance, too. Refer to it religiously.
If being productive doesn’t work for you? Or you’re in the middle of your movie and this comes up? Refer to Part 2 of the Sensual Self-Love Diet: How to Feed the Deeper Desire instead of Going for Food, which will give you love bits to ease your moment and get you in touch with your ability to create pleasure. {COMING SOON.}
Not an all-or-nothing type? Part 3 will be my alternatives, tasty food nibbles you can put in your mouth as you work through this process. Think: favorite teas. Healthy things to suck on.
There we’ll have ways to help you tune into your needs and cultivate the feeling of pleasure that is not food. Can’t wait for you to get those.
In the meantime, PLEASE… be so gentle and kind with yourself. I know you’ve heard that before, but I need you to hear that with my most empathetical, nourishing, motherly-sage voice.
The cycle of eating to satiate our feelings, and then the guilt of having a meaningless fling with our food, is tiring on a spirit and self-worth.
You are a child of the divine oneness. You are whole, one and full.
{Can you say it? Let’s do it together.}
“I am a child of the Universe. I am full.”
Say it three times. Tweak the wording for what resonates with you the most.
“I am a child of God. I am whole I have everything I need.”
“I am connected to everything. I am love. I am loved immensely.”
Much love in your conscious eating. I believe in you. Remember what you are craving is the fulfillment of receiving sweetness.
Today’s self-love action:
Take a few moments and right down what you can do to bring yourself sweetness. {That is NOT food.} Keep it near by and read it, honor it, when you want to go for that sweet sultry treat.
If you’re inspired, please share some of that in the comments to inspire readers.
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